Apocalyspe (Not) Now

I've moaned about my ten-year-old home computer so much that I've come to think that it would surely be a sign of the Apocalypse should I ever get a new one.

Evey tax refund check that was earmarked for the Davison PC Relief Fund would end up paying for a car repair, house repair or medical bill. TOBAL!

Well, my Father went out and bought a computer just a week or so shy of his eightieth birthday. He had taken some computer classes at a local community center and was red-hot to explore all the internet had to offer. So inspired was he that he went out a plopped down a few hundred bucks for one of those emachine PCs.

After a month or so, Dad decided this whole computer fad had passed him by. As much as he wanted to surf the internet, the PC he bought just wasn't "senior-friendly."

So guess what?

He gave me the new computer!

It's a "low end" model which is to say it leaves my relic in the dust. I mean, it has enough memory to actually run programs. I'm talking flat screen monitor, here, people. And best of all IT HAS A DVD BURNER.

I have been trying to get a rig set up so I could import video, edit them and burn DVDs for quite some time, now.

"Surely," I thought, "this is a sign of the end times. I finally have an up-to-date PC!"

I went out and bought a DAZZLE PLATINUM video port thingy. It connects to the USB port and allow you to hook up the three RCA cables from a video device. The software included with it then allow you to import, edit and burn video files. A hundred bucks, but I wanted only the best that Best Buy had to offer.

I finally stole some precious time out of my never-ending Work-Family-Sleep cycle to install the three CD-ROMs worth of Dazzle software.

Having accomplished this task, I hooked up the device and, with 'bated breath, clicked on the desktop icon.

Uh huh, I got an error message. I got this same message every time I tried to run the program.

I went to the Pinnacle Systems website and guess what?

The stinkin' software is absolutely incompatible with Windows Vista! WHOOT! Am I one sorry sack of something, or what?

Oh, they had a link to the software upgrade that would work with Vista. But, more guess what. THE FILE IS 1.4 GigaBytes!

People, I have a dial-up connection. It took 45 minutes to download the 6.5 Mb "patch" that didn't work. No way would I even attempt to download a 1.4 Gb. Life is too short.

I packed up the Dazzle and returned it to Best Buy.

Apocalypse averted.

I guess what I'm saying is, "You're welcome."