Monday, December 29, 2008

Year-End Wind-Fall

So there I am, eating my lunch at work yesterday, when my boss grabs a sandwich out of the 'fridge and says, "Mind if I join you?"

We were chatting about this, that and the other when the topic of vacations came up.

In the context of trip-planning, I mentioned that I wouldn't be taking any in the near future because "I only have three days of vacation time left until next July."

"Oh, no," he said between bites of his turkey sandwich. "That's not how it works for salaried employees. That's for hourly."

"Huh?" I wittily responded.

"No, you have to use up your vacation by the end of the year or you lose it. Heh, heh. 'Use it or lose it,' as the old saying goes," he chuckled.

"B-but, as of right now there aren't three whole days left in the year!" I stammered.

"Tell me about it!" he replied. "I'm going to lose two and a half days, myself."

"Hmmm," I mused. "This requires further thought."

In a moment the thrilling conclusion to our story.

Ladies, are you bothered by little green men? You know the kind. They live in your walls and constantly whisper in your ear to do all sorts of unspeakable acts. Acts that, if you were caught, would result in a long, long jail sentence? Well, now there's good news. You won't get caught. Give in. Give in to the invisible green men's counsel and you'll really start living! Do it. Do it, today. (This has been a public service message from the Little Green Men Advisory Board.)

Oh, we're back!

Well, here's how it's going to go down, folks:

  • Effective, immediately, I am on a two-day vacation!
  • As of January 1st I will have two more weeks of vacation to schedule.

Schweet, or what?

Happy New Year, gang!

Sunday, December 28, 2008

2009 is A-Comin'

A tip o' the hat to the learning2share blog!

Thursday, December 25, 2008

And To All A Good Night!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008


Do you like raisins?

You do?

Well, how nice.

You see, there are those of us who don't like raisins that have to live in your raisin-loving world.

What mass-hypnosis is at play when the phrase "plump, juicy raisins" is used to describe what are in reality dried-out, bitter, ersatz rabbit turds.

I can understand if you raisin-lovers want to eat chocolate-covered raisins. At least we sane people know that there are raisins in chocolate-covered raisins and can avoid them.

It is the stealth application of raisins that is objectionable.

"Hey, Craig, how'd you like a delicious, home-made oatmeal cookie?"

"Wow! Sure! M-m-m... oatmeal, brown sugar, butter. Let me at 'em!"

Craig takes a bite.

"BLEAAAHHH! This otherwise perfect cookie is loaded with disgusting, leathery grape corpses! Excuse me while I go eat some driveway gravel to get the taste out of my mouth."

Now substitute any of the following for the above-mentioned oatmeal cookie:

  • Rice Pudding
  • Sweet Roll
  • Carrot Cake
  • Bran Muffins
  • Coffee Cake
  • Anything else that would be 1,000,000% better without raisins in it

Yep, this is a cold, hostile world for a non-raisin-lover.

Monday, December 08, 2008

Retro Sign Shop

Stuck for a Christmas gift idea? Why not get a beautiful reproduction of a classic tin sign for your loved ones?

Go to my pal, Ian's RETRO SIGN SHOP site and browse.

This is a gift that will not take up any shelf space because you mount them on the wall!

Can a Chia Pet make that claim?