Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Trombone Trouble: Part 4 - Entering A World of Pain

Yes, what was I thinking?!?!?

Here's what I was thinking when I bought that $15 trombone: "It'll be different this time!"

Is that the losers' mantra, or what?

Things didn't start off so badly. Thanks to my ownership of a bass guitar, I had managed to wrangle my way into the Kenmore Junior High Jazz/Lab Band. The band-leader, Mr. Czyzrny (pronounced "CHER-nee") fixed me up with a trombone music book to help get me back up to speed and I spent some time re-acquainting myself with the various positions on the trombone's slide.

Then the spit hit the valve.

I graduated to tenth grade and moved on to Kenmore West High School. Like an idiot, I signed up to play in the school band (see mantra, above!)

Yep, I was back in the fourth chair BLAAAATing away and counting out pages of rests. But, the worst part was...
ALL BAND MEMBERS WERE REQUIRED TO BE IN THE MARCHING BAND!
There were so many concentric circles of Hell surrounding this little tid-bit, I don't even know where to begin...

  • Forced participation in after-school Marching Band practice.
  • Forced attendance and performance at all home and away football games.
  • The jerky uniform, complete with white canvas sneakers (note the mud!)
  • Playing the trombone.
  • Playing the trombone while marching.
  • I hate sports.
  • I also hate being screamed at by a failed music major who happens to be standing on a step ladder.

Yep, this gig had nothing going for it, as far as young Master Craig was concerned.

About the only perk was that I got the feeling my parents were vaguely proud of me for finally participating in an extra-curricular school activity.

I somehow managed to limp through to the end of the football season. Whew!

Then it was announced there was going to be an exchange program with a High School Band from Tewkesbury, Massachusetts...

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9 Comments:

Anonymous Lee said...

Oohh... we're going to get some juicy stuff here! Can't wait to hear you dish about the music exchange experience!

June 27, 2007 5:56 PM  
Blogger yinyang said...

Well, your loser's mantra was right. t sure was different - it just happened to be worse! :P

June 27, 2007 6:38 PM  
Blogger whimsicalnbrainpan said...

I bet you are still playing that trombone aren't you!

June 28, 2007 12:05 AM  
Blogger charlottalove said...

Aren't polyester band uniforms the best...lol.

June 28, 2007 8:48 AM  
Blogger Gale said...

But think of all the people you could 'accidently' spit on. The guy with the trombone always got the great seat with the best view because no one could sit in front of him.
I must have been a loser in school because I thought people in the band were cool. Thanks for killing my dream!!!

June 28, 2007 9:00 AM  
Blogger Craig D said...

gale: Only the fourth-chair trombonists were losers. OK, I'm generalizing. Only this fourth-chair trombonist.

charlotta: Oh, yeah. GROOVY THREADS, BABY! That was the 70s - every piece of clothing was a double-knit.

whim: Oooh. I don't know as if you're going to win that particular bet.

yinyang: Hmmm. I guess you could say it was different in that it was worse! Thanks for the perspective!

lee: The next installment will cover the whole "band trip" thing. A pulse-pounding anti-climax is in store for us all!

June 28, 2007 9:32 AM  
Blogger furiousBall said...

I'm waiting for what happened in band camp that summer.

June 28, 2007 10:09 AM  
Anonymous scott said...

what???turdsberry assachusets? where was I?

June 28, 2007 5:04 PM  
Blogger CS said...

Ha ha ha! Oh my God - love the furry hat!

July 03, 2007 12:23 AM  

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