Monday, June 18, 2007

My Furtive Life

It seems as if I spend my whole life sneaking around, skulking and trying to go undetected. Any extracurricular activity not related to either work or family must be conducted as quickly and as covertly as possible.

And not in a cool, cold-war-spy way, either.

Monday through Thursday, my alarm goes off at 5:15 am so I can get ready and get to work by 7:00 am. I quickly turn off the buzzer so the wife and daughter can continue sleeping. I tip-toe downstairs to make my breakfast as quietly as possible. If it's dark out I try to refrain from turning on any lights until I get to the kitchen. I take a stealth shower and am out the front door by 6:40 am. Ninety-nine percent of the time, I've done all this without waking anyone.

By 5:30 pm, my work day is over and I arrive back home by 5:45 pm. The time between then and beddy-bye for the Li'l One consists of either parenting or housework. When I finally flop into bed, I stealthily put on the earphones and try to listen to a CD, but I usually black out before the second song can finish playing.

Sometimes life can feel like an endless series of prison-breaks.

11 Comments:

Blogger furiousBall said...

Perhaps you could spice it up a bit, do a secret agent man dive over the couch on your way to breakfast, pop up in a perfect karate stance....something along those lines.

Maybe make a paper mache likeness of yourself and slip that under the covers one morning (a la Eastwood in Escape from Alcatraz)

June 18, 2007 12:27 PM  
Anonymous SCOTT said...

THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE....
I GET UP AT 3 AM SO I CAN DO MY THING B4 THE SUN COMES UP. YESTERDAY, LESLEY SAID I LOOKED PALE (WHICH IS A VERY GOOD THING FOR ME)

YOU'RE JUST A SECRET EGG-GENT MAN.

June 18, 2007 12:40 PM  
Blogger whimsicalnbrainpan said...

He he he!

I like Furiousball's suggestion.

I can slip you a sharpened spoon so you can tunnel your way out if you'd like.

June 18, 2007 4:39 PM  
Anonymous Lee said...

"The time between then and beddy-bye for the Li'l One consists of either parenting or housework."

Heh. Except for me, "then" = "when I wake up" and "or" = "and / or"

June 18, 2007 7:08 PM  
Blogger Andromeda said...

lol...you are funny. i feel like a fugitive too. only safe place to hide for me is the bathroom. even then someone is beating down the door.

hey just wondering what has become of our good buddy dirk. i am guessing the demands of a baby are keeping him busy. i miss him.

June 18, 2007 10:22 PM  
Blogger Bardouble29 said...

My day is VERY similiar to your, excluding the toddler part.

June 18, 2007 10:53 PM  
Blogger Lester Hunt said...

Are you guys so sure Craig's post was meant to be humorous? I found it horrifying. But in all my life I've never had a nine-to-five job (and I'm 60 yrs. old!) -- so maybe this just says something about me. (BTW Andromeda, I love your picture. Dore is one of my faves.)

June 19, 2007 12:50 AM  
Blogger charlottalove said...

I started to feel that way too about my job. I've made it a point to actually schedule "free time" so my days don't seem so monotonous.

June 19, 2007 8:35 AM  
Blogger Allan said...

You were so sneaky I deleted you. My bad.

June 19, 2007 9:32 PM  
Blogger Dorky Dad said...

I'm almost certain that you have a trench coat and a fedora in your closet. You should start wearing them. You should also take up smoking. Or at least have an unlit cigarette in your mouth like Columbo. And make sure you wear loud shoes. Spies and spooks always wear loud shoes. With this simple plan you would at least feel like a secret agent.

June 20, 2007 1:06 AM  
Blogger CS said...

Might be time to invest in a trenchcoat and shades. Seriously, it gets better as your kid(s) get(s) older - slowly, to be sure,, but it WILL happen.

June 25, 2007 12:21 PM  

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