Well, well, well. I've been "tagged" by dorky dad
! Seems that I am now duty bound to list either six "weird things that have happened to me" or "six weird things about myself." I am unclear on this concept, but I will try to list six somethings!
(Y'know, people have been known to kill
over such things!)
First, the rules. Each player starts by blogging about six weird things about themselves. Those tagged must also blog the rules in their blog while tagging a half a dozen people of their own. Now, here's where I'm
going to bend the rules. I am not going to foist this "monkey's paw" on anyone. If you want to voluntarily participate, swell! Post a link in the comments section. Now, onto the hilarity!
1. Naked Through Puberty!
That get your attention? Good! I rode a weird bubble in the baby boom. Just before I entered 5th grade, it was decided that there was not enough room in our district's elementary schools to accommodate "my" class. The solution? Two classes, each, of fifth and sixth graders were assigned to one corridor on the third floor of Kenmore Junior High School. There were many liabilities to being a 10-year-old thrust into a building full of whacked-out teenagers, but the worst part, for me was their Phys-Ed program.
Gym class was scheduled twice a week. KJHS had a dank, slimy swimming pool and one of the two Phys-Ed days was dedicated to a full period of swimming instruction. The lack of soap and hot water in the showers was bad. The over-chlorinated, gelatinous "water" in the pool was bad. But the worst aspect of it was this: THE BOYS HAD TO TAKE SWIMMING CLASS NAKED! NO SWIM TRUNKS ALLOWED! VERBOTEN!
So from age 10 through 15 we all got to watch each other go through every stage of puberty for an hour a week. Not good.
The only "reason" for this policy was there was a concern that the fibres from the boys' swim trunks would damage the pool filter. Yeah, right. The girls were not forced to take swim class all naked. In fact, they were required to wear industrial-strength one piece bathing suits!
I can only guess that our instructors, Mr. Saliba and Mr. Harvey, were voyeuristic pedophiles of the first degree. They conducted every class fully-clothed and never once went in the pool, BTW.
2. I like grits!
I was born and bred in Buffalo, NY but have been living in North Carolina for nearly nine years as of this writing. Several of the local natives find it amusing and amazing that I like grits! I even ate grits before I moved down here, folks.
"Grits remind me of cream of wheat," I explained to one such fellow.
"EEEEEEEW! You eat cream of wheat?" he replied, ashen-faced. "How do you stand it?!?!?!"
3. I don't like professional sports!
I'm a guy. I'm from Buffalo, NY. I don't like sports.
Understand that Buffalo is a city where the NFL-Franchised radio station would boast about having "live updates from the Bills' training camp every fifteen minutes!" The topic of every break-room conversation would be "did you see this" and "did you see that" about "the big game."
And if it wasn't DA BILLS then it was DA SABRES (big hockey town!) And there are what, like a zillion hockey games per season.
Spare me, Lord! At least here in NC, all that NFL and NHL stuff takes a back seat to NASCAR...
Aside to dorky dad: Hey, this is brutal! Thanks for "tagging" me! It's been decades since I had such an onerous writing assignment. Oh, well, it's the way of the blog. Must not disappoint...
4. I've played at CBGBs!
Oh, sure so did lots of other awesome punk-rock gods and legends. Well, turns out I'm one of them. Just sayin'... LINK
5. I don't own an iPod!
I don't have one. Nuh-uh. Sorry. I also don't "text message" my friends and family on my "blue tooth."
6. I have never seen "American Idol!"
Nope. Not once! I don't care about the judges panel. No, I "didn't see that guy last night." Don't care. Don't care. Don't care. I'm glad this program gives everybody else in the universe such joy, but I have never seen it and I don't plan to. (Of course, the fact that my one TV is connected to a set of crappy rabbit ears that can only reliably tune in the local PBS station might have something to do with the situation. (Oh please, oh please, oh please could somebody TiVo this for me and send me DVD-Rs of it!?!?!? I also need copies of every other "reality" show. Oh, and Judge Judy! I'm begging you!
Whew! Sorry about getting all ugly there, folks. See what happens when I don't get to blog about crappy LPs or my daughter for a day or so?
I think I speak for us all when I say, "I need a drink!"
May God bless America!